We are proud to announce that our baby girl is...

Late...

Today marks three days past my due date. 


As incredibly anxious as we are to meet our little girl, I have felt so much peace as we wait for her. I feel so grateful to have an amazing doula and doctor who are so supportive of letting Elsie take her sweet time, and not to rush her. What a gift... especially in today's culture where we want everything on 'our time' and women are scheduling their inductions at 38 weeks. 

I'll be completely honest though, every few hours my emotions change on the subject, and my patience is like a rollercoaster. Some parts of the day I feel so calm and peaceful, and then other parts I want her here already! I've known that I've had to keep myself very busy though, to stay distracted, soak up this precious time, and rest up before going into labor. 

It's so funny how people look at me when they find out I'm "past due"....as if my water's going to break right that second, or the baby's going to fall out. Some of the best advice our birthing coach gave me was, if you go past your due date (which due dates are so silly anyways) to continue on with ordinary life. Even in early labor, to continue on with ordinary life. So, each day I plan something fun that I get to look forward to, and it has been such a fun week of spontaneous adventures, time with people I love, and getting to do things I won't be able to for a little while. 


Today I had a doctor's appointment and Elsie is looking great and healthy. I never get tired of hearing her heartbeat on the doppler and seeing her cute little body on the ultrasound. Just to keep you all in the loop, my doctor will let me go 12 days post date, before talking induction. So we have until next Sat, May 5th for Elsie to make her debut. And trust me.... I'm trying everything. People always run down the list of things to try, and I laugh and smile....because I've been doing it ALL. 


After my doctor's appointment I had made a special playlist for the car, grabbed a giant (decaf) latte, and headed down in the beautiful rain to visit a dear friend who is also pregnant, due in two weeks with a little boy. We're convinced Elsie and Arlo are going to get married. We putzed around Carpenteria, found some cute little shops and had some fun prego girl time. 


Now I'm going to work on some cute projects around the house, and enjoy the evening with my hot husband!

                                                          


                                                      Tracy and her "Arlo" bump

                                                                         Elsie & Arlo

Letter to my daughter...

To my darling daughter...

Any day now you will come into the world, and change our lives. But to be honest, ever since the day we found out you existed, you have changed our lives. I’ll never forget the feeling of pride and awe when I saw those two pink lines, and an hour later the doctor confirmed it. You were there. I watered the plants outside, waiting for your Daddy to get home...and as I did, it was as if I had this incredible secret that I got to treasure inside of me...and the world didn’t even know yet. I’ll never forget the giddy excitement and unbelievable peace I felt when I told your dad that night that you existed. We celebrated with Sushi. I didn’t know yet that pregnant mamas weren’t supposed to eat sushi. There was a lot I had to learn. 

And so much I have learned, even in these last nine months. You being in my womb has taught me a love like I’ve never known. A nurturing, selfless, deep deep love. And I can’t wait to show it to you in person. It’s also made me understand, just a little bit more, God’s tenacious love for us. I can’t wait to teach you about that love, too. 

I hope that you grow up loving adventure. That you treasure each person in front of you, and love people humbly and fearlessly. I hope that you find the joy in snail hunting, and laugh with your whole belly. And that you let me snuggle you, even when you’re a teenager. I pray that I can show you beauty in the world, even in the midst of the hard stuff, and am a safe place for you. 

Your Daddy and I are completely smitten with you already, and cannot wait to meet you. But I savor every last day of being pregnant with you...you miracle inside of me, you. I relish feeling every hiccup, twirl, and movement. And I will enjoy every moment of being this close. I love you to the moon and back, peanut. 

Love,

Your Mommy

miracles...

I am at the last stretch of this pregnancy and what an incredible journey it's been. We moved into our new house last weekend, which has been the biggest blessing. We have Elsie's nursery painted, decorated, and clothes all nice and folded.


As the mama nesting mode kicks in with all of the physical stuff, I have been realizing God preparing my heart to be a mom, with each day. As I look back at the last months, my heart fills to the brim as I've fallen in love with this little miracle inside of me, learned deeper parts of the Father's heart for us as I taste only a fraction of that love for my daughter, have fallen deeper in love with my husband every day, and as I've learned so much about myself.


As I ready myself to meet this beautiful little girl, I realize, even more than ever, the weight of being a mother. For the past nine months my body has not been my own, but in days, my life will no longer be my own. Jesus has been refining my heart as I realize how much selfishness He still needs to cleanse me of as I prepare to be a mother after His heart. And the greatest part is, I know it will all be worth it. So very worth it. It's been quite an emotional week, and as hard as some pregnancy side affects make me want to curl up and cry, I remember why I gladly take them all. And why I would do it again a hundred times over for the gift inside of me.




As I trace each stretch mark, I smile with pride because inside of me is a miracle. As I feel every contraction as my body starts practicing to birth, I remember that I am housing a miracle in my womb. As my legs get tired after only minutes of walking up and down stairs, I know that it's because my body is pouring it's strength and love into caring for my baby girl. As I lay awake in the middle of the night, I get to daydream about what this little one is going to be like.


Jeremy and I were talking the other day about how amazing it is how you can love someone so insanely much that you haven't even met yet. And what a miracle it is.


Thank you Jesus for the beautiful family you have entrusted me with. May I remember every day the gorgeous miracle that it is. And you deserve all the glory for it.

36 weeks... Officially full term!

How far along? 36 Weeks

Maternity clothes? Some, but realizing a ton of my pre-maternity stuff works great too!

Stretch marks? Yep - The mark of motherhood and your body being no longer your own. 

Sleep: Sleeping amazing. But it is quite an effort to roll over in bed. 

Best moment this week: Getting to spend the weekend with all of Jeremy siblings. 

Miss Anything? My pride: I can't bend over to pick up really anything anymore. Thank goodness for my husband. 

Movement: So much! Jeremy and I die with laughter as we get so weirded out seeing her move across my entire belly. Or when we see her body parts sticking out of my belly. Love it. 

Food cravings: Pineapple and strawberries! Can't get enough of them. And for a while there I was craving buffalo wings all the time.  

Anything making you queasy or sick: nope.

Gender: Girl 

Labor Signs: Yep, lots of braxton hicks and contractions as my body is getting ready for our little one. 

Symptoms: Besides the massive belly and needing to pee about every 15 minutes, that's about it lately. 

Belly Button in or out? a tiny bit out.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! 

Looking forward to: Moving into our new house next weekend! We're so excited and blessed by this new place, and I can't wait to start nesting and settling in. (Pictures to come soon) Let's hope Elsie Love stays in until we're settled!

Lots of Pregnant mamas at my baby shower! 

Things Your Mother Never Told You About Motherhood

By Dale Hanson Bourke

Time is running out for my friend. We are sitting at lunch when she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of “starting a family”. What she means is that her biological clock has begun its countdown, and she is being forced to consider the prospect of motherhood.

“We’re taking a survey,” she says, half joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?”


“It will change your life,” I say, keeping my tone neutral.


“I know,” she says. “No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no more spontaneous vacations…”


But that is not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbearing heal but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.


I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking, What if that had been my child; that every plane crash, every fire will haunt her; that when she sees pictures of starving children, she will look at the mothers and wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that she would know no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will immediately reduce her to the primitive level of a she-bear protecting her cub; that a slightly urgent call of “Mom” will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation; that the anger she will feel if that call came over a lost toy will be a joy she has never before experienced.


I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might successfully arrange for child care, but one day she will be waiting to go into an important business meeting, and she will think about her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure he is fine.


I want her to know that everyday routine decisions will no longer be routine; that a visit to McDonald’s and a 5 year old boy’s understandable desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s room will become a major dilemma; that right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the possibility of a child molester lurking in the bathroom. I want her to know that however, decisive she may be at the office; she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.


Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same way about herself, that her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child; that she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will begin to hope for more years, not so much to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his; that a caesarean scar or stretch marks will become badges of honour.


My friend’s relationship with her husband will change, I know, but not in the ways she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful always to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play “bad guys” with his son. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would now find unromantic.


I wish my modern friend could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children’s future.


I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your son learn to hit a baseball. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the pleasure that is so real it hurts.


My friend’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. “You’ll never regret it,” I say finally. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my friend’s hand, and wish her joy on the journey ahead.

Our trip to Big Sur last July.