I am at the last stretch of this pregnancy and what an incredible journey it's been. We moved into our new house last weekend, which has been the biggest blessing. We have Elsie's nursery painted, decorated, and clothes all nice and folded.
As the mama nesting mode kicks in with all of the physical stuff, I have been realizing God preparing my heart to be a mom, with each day. As I look back at the last months, my heart fills to the brim as I've fallen in love with this little miracle inside of me, learned deeper parts of the Father's heart for us as I taste only a fraction of that love for my daughter, have fallen deeper in love with my husband every day, and as I've learned so much about myself.
As I ready myself to meet this beautiful little girl, I realize, even more than ever, the weight of being a mother. For the past nine months my body has not been my own, but in days, my life will no longer be my own. Jesus has been refining my heart as I realize how much selfishness He still needs to cleanse me of as I prepare to be a mother after His heart. And the greatest part is, I know it will all be worth it. So very worth it. It's been quite an emotional week, and as hard as some pregnancy side affects make me want to curl up and cry, I remember why I gladly take them all. And why I would do it again a hundred times over for the gift inside of me.
As I trace each stretch mark, I smile with pride because inside of me is a miracle. As I feel every contraction as my body starts practicing to birth, I remember that I am housing a miracle in my womb. As my legs get tired after only minutes of walking up and down stairs, I know that it's because my body is pouring it's strength and love into caring for my baby girl. As I lay awake in the middle of the night, I get to daydream about what this little one is going to be like.
Jeremy and I were talking the other day about how amazing it is how you can love someone so insanely much that you haven't even met yet. And what a miracle it is.
Thank you Jesus for the beautiful family you have entrusted me with. May I remember every day the gorgeous miracle that it is. And you deserve all the glory for it.
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