Sunday, April 29, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Late...
Today marks three days past my due date.
As incredibly anxious as we are to meet our little girl, I have felt so much peace as we wait for her. I feel so grateful to have an amazing doula and doctor who are so supportive of letting Elsie take her sweet time, and not to rush her. What a gift... especially in today's culture where we want everything on 'our time' and women are scheduling their inductions at 38 weeks.
It's so funny how people look at me when they find out I'm "past due"....as if my water's going to break right that second, or the baby's going to fall out. Some of the best advice our birthing coach gave me was, if you go past your due date (which due dates are so silly anyways) to continue on with ordinary life. Even in early labor, to continue on with ordinary life. So, each day I plan something fun that I get to look forward to, and it has been such a fun week of spontaneous adventures, time with people I love, and getting to do things I won't be able to for a little while.
Today I had a doctor's appointment and Elsie is looking great and healthy. I never get tired of hearing her heartbeat on the doppler and seeing her cute little body on the ultrasound. Just to keep you all in the loop, my doctor will let me go 12 days post date, before talking induction. So we have until next Sat, May 5th for Elsie to make her debut. And trust me.... I'm trying everything. People always run down the list of things to try, and I laugh and smile....because I've been doing it ALL.
After my doctor's appointment I had made a special playlist for the car, grabbed a giant (decaf) latte, and headed down in the beautiful rain to visit a dear friend who is also pregnant, due in two weeks with a little boy. We're convinced Elsie and Arlo are going to get married. We putzed around Carpenteria, found some cute little shops and had some fun prego girl time.
Now I'm going to work on some cute projects around the house, and enjoy the evening with my hot husband!
Tracy and her "Arlo" bump
Elsie & Arlo
As incredibly anxious as we are to meet our little girl, I have felt so much peace as we wait for her. I feel so grateful to have an amazing doula and doctor who are so supportive of letting Elsie take her sweet time, and not to rush her. What a gift... especially in today's culture where we want everything on 'our time' and women are scheduling their inductions at 38 weeks.
I'll be completely honest though, every few hours my emotions change on the subject, and my patience is like a rollercoaster. Some parts of the day I feel so calm and peaceful, and then other parts I want her here already! I've known that I've had to keep myself very busy though, to stay distracted, soak up this precious time, and rest up before going into labor.
It's so funny how people look at me when they find out I'm "past due"....as if my water's going to break right that second, or the baby's going to fall out. Some of the best advice our birthing coach gave me was, if you go past your due date (which due dates are so silly anyways) to continue on with ordinary life. Even in early labor, to continue on with ordinary life. So, each day I plan something fun that I get to look forward to, and it has been such a fun week of spontaneous adventures, time with people I love, and getting to do things I won't be able to for a little while.
Today I had a doctor's appointment and Elsie is looking great and healthy. I never get tired of hearing her heartbeat on the doppler and seeing her cute little body on the ultrasound. Just to keep you all in the loop, my doctor will let me go 12 days post date, before talking induction. So we have until next Sat, May 5th for Elsie to make her debut. And trust me.... I'm trying everything. People always run down the list of things to try, and I laugh and smile....because I've been doing it ALL.
After my doctor's appointment I had made a special playlist for the car, grabbed a giant (decaf) latte, and headed down in the beautiful rain to visit a dear friend who is also pregnant, due in two weeks with a little boy. We're convinced Elsie and Arlo are going to get married. We putzed around Carpenteria, found some cute little shops and had some fun prego girl time.
Now I'm going to work on some cute projects around the house, and enjoy the evening with my hot husband!
Tracy and her "Arlo" bump
Elsie & Arlo
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Letter to my daughter...
To my darling daughter...
Any day now you will come into the world, and change our lives. But to be honest, ever since the day we found out you existed, you have changed our lives. I’ll never forget the feeling of pride and awe when I saw those two pink lines, and an hour later the doctor confirmed it. You were there. I watered the plants outside, waiting for your Daddy to get home...and as I did, it was as if I had this incredible secret that I got to treasure inside of me...and the world didn’t even know yet. I’ll never forget the giddy excitement and unbelievable peace I felt when I told your dad that night that you existed. We celebrated with Sushi. I didn’t know yet that pregnant mamas weren’t supposed to eat sushi. There was a lot I had to learn.
And so much I have learned, even in these last nine months. You being in my womb has taught me a love like I’ve never known. A nurturing, selfless, deep deep love. And I can’t wait to show it to you in person. It’s also made me understand, just a little bit more, God’s tenacious love for us. I can’t wait to teach you about that love, too.
I hope that you grow up loving adventure. That you treasure each person in front of you, and love people humbly and fearlessly. I hope that you find the joy in snail hunting, and laugh with your whole belly. And that you let me snuggle you, even when you’re a teenager. I pray that I can show you beauty in the world, even in the midst of the hard stuff, and am a safe place for you.
Your Daddy and I are completely smitten with you already, and cannot wait to meet you. But I savor every last day of being pregnant with you...you miracle inside of me, you. I relish feeling every hiccup, twirl, and movement. And I will enjoy every moment of being this close. I love you to the moon and back, peanut.
Love,
Your Mommy
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
miracles...
I am at the last stretch of this pregnancy and what an incredible journey it's been. We moved into our new house last weekend, which has been the biggest blessing. We have Elsie's nursery painted, decorated, and clothes all nice and folded.
As the mama nesting mode kicks in with all of the physical stuff, I have been realizing God preparing my heart to be a mom, with each day. As I look back at the last months, my heart fills to the brim as I've fallen in love with this little miracle inside of me, learned deeper parts of the Father's heart for us as I taste only a fraction of that love for my daughter, have fallen deeper in love with my husband every day, and as I've learned so much about myself.
As I ready myself to meet this beautiful little girl, I realize, even more than ever, the weight of being a mother. For the past nine months my body has not been my own, but in days, my life will no longer be my own. Jesus has been refining my heart as I realize how much selfishness He still needs to cleanse me of as I prepare to be a mother after His heart. And the greatest part is, I know it will all be worth it. So very worth it. It's been quite an emotional week, and as hard as some pregnancy side affects make me want to curl up and cry, I remember why I gladly take them all. And why I would do it again a hundred times over for the gift inside of me.
As I trace each stretch mark, I smile with pride because inside of me is a miracle. As I feel every contraction as my body starts practicing to birth, I remember that I am housing a miracle in my womb. As my legs get tired after only minutes of walking up and down stairs, I know that it's because my body is pouring it's strength and love into caring for my baby girl. As I lay awake in the middle of the night, I get to daydream about what this little one is going to be like.
Jeremy and I were talking the other day about how amazing it is how you can love someone so insanely much that you haven't even met yet. And what a miracle it is.
Thank you Jesus for the beautiful family you have entrusted me with. May I remember every day the gorgeous miracle that it is. And you deserve all the glory for it.
As the mama nesting mode kicks in with all of the physical stuff, I have been realizing God preparing my heart to be a mom, with each day. As I look back at the last months, my heart fills to the brim as I've fallen in love with this little miracle inside of me, learned deeper parts of the Father's heart for us as I taste only a fraction of that love for my daughter, have fallen deeper in love with my husband every day, and as I've learned so much about myself.
As I ready myself to meet this beautiful little girl, I realize, even more than ever, the weight of being a mother. For the past nine months my body has not been my own, but in days, my life will no longer be my own. Jesus has been refining my heart as I realize how much selfishness He still needs to cleanse me of as I prepare to be a mother after His heart. And the greatest part is, I know it will all be worth it. So very worth it. It's been quite an emotional week, and as hard as some pregnancy side affects make me want to curl up and cry, I remember why I gladly take them all. And why I would do it again a hundred times over for the gift inside of me.
As I trace each stretch mark, I smile with pride because inside of me is a miracle. As I feel every contraction as my body starts practicing to birth, I remember that I am housing a miracle in my womb. As my legs get tired after only minutes of walking up and down stairs, I know that it's because my body is pouring it's strength and love into caring for my baby girl. As I lay awake in the middle of the night, I get to daydream about what this little one is going to be like.
Jeremy and I were talking the other day about how amazing it is how you can love someone so insanely much that you haven't even met yet. And what a miracle it is.
Thank you Jesus for the beautiful family you have entrusted me with. May I remember every day the gorgeous miracle that it is. And you deserve all the glory for it.
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