Letter to Elsie

(by Chelsea Steller)

My sweet girl, you are five months old.

A part of me feels like it was just yesterday that we brought you home so excited to show you to the world, and another part of me feels like you've been a part of me all along. Being your Mama is one of the biggest joys I've ever had. Waking up to your darling rosebud lips and sleepy stretches melts my heart as I remember hearing cliches like "I just want to wake them up so I can play with them". Now I totally get it. Time with you is like honey and I can't get enough.

Some of my favorite things about watching you grow up this last month have been hearing you giggle across the house and watching you discover your toes. I love that you're big enough for me to wear you on my hip and for your Daddy to carry you on his shoulders. You LOVE anything crazy. Being bounced as high as we can go on the bouncy ball, flying on my feet, your dad swinging you around the  room... and you instantly burst out laughing. We can already see your adventurous spirit and we're so proud!

You also had your first road trip this month to meet your new baby cousin and you did amazing on the road. It was a big step for us to see how you would do, and it made us excited to start doing even longer ones. You absolutely love being "worn" in a sling or carrier and I soak up every minute of having you close. I love getting to see you explore the world and to be at eye level with you as you discover.

Your tenaciousness is already so apparent and yet your sweet spirit and "go-with-the-flow" personality make everyday with you so fun. I love being your mama, sweet girl. It stretches me like nothing I've ever known, but it's straight from God that He gives me what I need to love you and nurture you to the best of my ability. It's the best job I could dream of. And you're Daddy is doing such an incredible job too. I would watch him with other kids when we were dating and married and would daydream about seeing him with our kids. And seeing the way he loves and adores you is better than anything I could have imagined. Elsie Love, we are so glad you're ours and are loving watch you grow up!

Photos by Chelsea Steller
chelseasteller.com

Family

Photos by the amazing Chelsea Steller

chelseasteller.com

four months

This is a few days late, but I still wanted to document this special day. It's come and gone faster than I could imagine, but we've loved every single day of it. Our Elsie Love is four months old!

I find myself looking out the windows in our room, and prayers of thanksgiving roll off my tongue so much these days. I look at my daughter and my husband and my heart is full, content, and seriously grateful. I am so thankful to an amazing Father for giving us this incredible little four month old gift. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to be a mama. I feel like that's my calling. To my own children. To motherless children. And I hope, well into my old age, I can still be an open heart and an open home for children throughout the world.

I catch myself praising God that He's letting me start to live out that heart and calling with Elsie. It is one of the most beautifully stretching things, and so incredibly gratifying.

I can't believe how big she's getting when I see her ever growing little body sprawled across my lap or her crib. This has seriously been the most monumental month for her as she has developed and grown in incredible ways. We've had some huge hurdles crossed with nursing this month, and it is something I am so glad we fought so hard for. (I'll have to write about all that another day.)

Her personality keeps seeping through in the most darling ways. She's been laughing so much and is so incredibly active.

Some facts about Elsie these days ::
She's officially in love with her pediatrician. She weighs 14 1/2 pounds and is 25 inches long.
She can now put anything in her mouth and LOVES doing so. Sophie the giraffe has become her favorite toy.
She sneezes in threes.
She adores the bath. She usually cries every time we take her out, because, no matter how long we let her play in there, it just wasn't long enough.
She found her thumb and sucks it.
She also, for the first time in four months, decided she likes a paci. SO glad I din't give up trying! What a lifesaver.
She's been sleeping more and more in her own bed.
She can push herself up on her tummy and loves tummy time now, and has also started rolling over. It always catches me of guard when she's laying on her tummy next to me, and then I look down seconds later to her face up staring at me with a huge smile.
She will find a screen wherever she is. She has a way of cranking her neck to look at the computer, tv, or phone. Oh no!
And she learned how to speak Latin last week.

insomnia

It's almost one o'clock in the morning, and lately my body has been in the habit of waking me up in the middle of the night... for hours. I don't know if it's the iced coffee I had at Renaud's earlier today, or just a lot on my mind.

I've been secretly loving these moments, though, because I have the whole house to myself (MYSELF...such a strange feeling) while Jeremy and Elsie are ever so darling, tucked away in our bed.  I'm sitting here completely in awe that this is my life. I was looking at Elsie tonight while she slept and LOVE that I get to be her mama. Everyday I'm learning something new. Learning how to be the best mom I can be and offer my daughter everything. In addition to learning to be the best wife I can be, and offering Jeremy my whole heart.

We've been very deliberate lately about setting aside for just the two of us. Elsie sleeps in bed with us right now, which has been one of the funnest things ever (not to mention the ten hours of sleep her and I get a night!). But it also means that we don't just put her down in her crib and get the rest of the night to ourselves. But the last couple weeks, I've been nursing her to sleep in our bed, and sneaking downstairs, where Jeremy and I get dates in the living room together. It usually involves Tiramisu, snuggling on the couch, the Olympics, and long discussions. It's a simple life we lead these days, but I'm drinking in every minute of it.

I can't believe it's been over three months since our darling girl was born. I remember everyone saying cliches like "Soak it up, it goes so quickly", and I would smile and nod... but My Lands....it seriously is flashing before my eyes. I am loving being a family of three. But I told Jeremy the other day how I can't wait to give her siblings. (Don't worry, we're not planning on having another baby for a while!). I absolutely loved being pregnant and can't wait to be again, but we're actually praying about adopting our next little Babe. More on that later.

It's been so humbling learning the ups and downs of parenthood. And still being 'newlyweds', we're also learning so much about loving each other. But, I can honestly say, everyday I keep falling more and more in love with those two. They make this life so beautiful. I guess it's time for me to crawl back in bed with them. Wouldn't trade it for the world!

three months

Today our little Love is three months old. Sometimes I take the long way home just so I can drive by the hospital to remember back on the day she was born. That incredible day, three months ago, has changed our lives in ways we could never know.

We've definitely had our obstacles as we ride the ups and downs of parenting, but it is the most absolutely delightful thing to get to be her parents. I'm listening to her coo and laugh right now, remembering when she was still in the womb and I wondered what she would be like. Here she is. She's ours. And she's perfect. My heart fills to the brim when I look down at her in my arms while she's nursing, or when I spy on Jeremy and her in the other room, as they make each other laugh.

I laugh when strangers see I'm pushing a stroller or wearing a baby under that wrap, and they peak in anxious to see her face. The first response is usually "Oh.... those cheeks!" Yep, she loves her mamas milk and has cheeks for days. The best for kissing. She's growing everyday right before our eyes, and her darling little personality is so fun to see coming through.

Jeremy and I daydream about the adventures we'll get to take her on one day when she's older and all the fun things we'll get to do once she hits certain milestones. I can't wait for those days. But until then, we're loving adventures around our neighborhood for walks, getting to have her sleep in bed with us, watching her first laughs, and having her fit in our arms. We're madly in love with her, and can't imagine life without our Elsie Love.

Some things Elsie loves :: any green plants (she will spot them across the house through the windows and coo at them), being outside, being naked, her Mama's milk, mornings (she smiles and laughs almost instantly after waking up... it's my favorite time of day with her), discovering her hands, sucking on her fist, going to the beach, being tickled, being on her changing table (weird, I know....but the kid loves it) patterns, her Daddy's kisses, sleeping in bed with us, and anyone singer to her, on pitch or not.

We are so grateful to get to be her parents and are loving every minute with her.

Happy Three Months to my sweet girl! xo          

                                                                                                                             

twenty three

It was my birthday yesterday. I'm twenty three.


It's so funny to hear people's reactions to them finding out I'm twenty three and married.....and (gasp!) a mom. I'm realizing how rare it is to be such a young mom here in Santa Barbara, where most people put such an emphasis on the Get your degree-travel the world- and then get established in your career- route. Where you make sure you get years of "You" time and do all the things that you want to do before you get 'tied' down. And then maybe fifteen years later you might want to start having kids. I just smile a proud smile when people react so surprised.


In my twenty three years so far, I have gotten to travel the world: getting to live in Australia, Indonesia, and Africa as well as visit some of the most magical places and meet the most beautiful people. I've gotten to hold Ugandan babies on my hip, drink tea in castles in Ireland, hike through Costa Rican jungle, and ride elephants in Thailand. I was also able to study Early Child Development and Intercultural studies, and have my dream job of teaching little ones all day. I fell in love with the love of my life, and even got to marry him. Falling more madly in love every day and living a life of spontaneity.


So when people give me the "Mom at twenty three-pity smile", I just laugh and think how being a mom is the biggest adventure I've ever been on. I've gotten to do a whole lot in my life, but having my daughter is the thing I'm most proud of. I look back on my last twenty three years with gratefulness and excitement. 


I woke up yesterday to Birthday love all throughout the house, and got to spend the morning cuddling Elsie. My mom came down in the afternoon to watch Elsie, and Jeremy and I got the afternoon just the two of us! We savored sushi and dreamed about all the things we want to do someday. Treated ourselves to frozen yogurt, perfect on a warm sunny afternoon. And walked hand in hand down State Street. I had collected a bunch of clothes from my closet to trade at Crossroads (one of my favorite stores) and traded them in for some fun new pieces.


We came home and took a family nap together, one of my absolute favorite things. Sun drenching in through our windows, warm summer air breezing through, Elsie's little breaths in and out, and my husband's arm wrapped around me. Absolute bliss doing life with my two favorite people. After that, we drove up to the Mesa and took a walk through the cute neighborhoods, daydreaming about how we would build a house for our family. Then we galavanted through the aisles of Lazy Acres, loading up on a delicious organic dinner and met the most sweet eccentric lady. We came home, cuddled up together and talked about one of my presents from Jeremy... he's going to make me raised garden boxes! He sure knows the way to my heart.


I sit back thinking on my life, and wonder at how amazing this last year has been, and look with excitement at the year ahead. And what a beautiful life it is!