>>> first birthday

My darling Elsie,

Today is your first birthday. I snuggled you extra long last night before bed, realizing you wouldn't be a baby when you woke up. I can't believe it's really been a whole year since you were born. I took you to our old house today and showed you where I labored at home with you, and wondered just what you'd be like. We drove by the hospital and a flood of nostalgia and joy came over me as I thought about the first moment I held you and kissed you. I worked hard for you, sweetheart, and you were worth it all.

That day, a year ago, started a whole new life for us. A life I never dreamed could be so good. I watched you at your birthday party the other day and was in awe that you're mine. You, full of sweetness, tenacity, and joy, are all ours! It has been a complete joy being your mama. You have showed me how a love deeper than I've ever known. I just love doing life with you!

I know I always say it, but getting to watch your personality unfold, and to see you become a little lady has been so fun. You're crawling like crazy, but are taking your sweet time learning to walk. You adore being outside and even more if there are animals out there. I'm waiting for the day you somehow talk us into getting you a kitten. I could watch you play outside for hours, as you point to everything and observe every little blade of grass, and taste anything you can. Whenever you hear a bird or a plane you point at it and look at me as if saying "Mom did you see that too?!"Your first words where, "Oh Yeah". I'm not even kidding. And it still cracks us up every time you say it. You love playing with older kids, and your Daddy is the apple of your eye. I melt watching the two of you together.

We had your dedication this last weekend and I beamed with pride as we prayed over you and dedicated your life to the Lord. I pray that you fall in love with Jesus from a young age and grow in his tenacious love for you. I pray that you have a heart to love and bless others, and will help make the world more beautiful, as you reach out your hands to help those in need. I pray that you always keep your sense of wonder at the beauty around you, and that you pull that beauty out of people. Showing them the way God sees them. And, I pray that you see yourself the way that God sees you.

This year, I can't wait to travel with you, to blow even more hundreds of bubbles in the backyard, to giggle at the waves on the beach, and keep snuggling before bed. I'm excited to start watching you walk and eventually twirl and eventually dance. I can't even wait to hear what your little voice sounds like when you sing. And I'm so excited to watch you be a big sister, one day. But for now, I'm soaking up every day with you because it is perfection.

You're Daddy and I love you so much, sweet girl.
xo

{Photo by your amazing Auntie Kimmy :: Kim Koop Photography}

january letter

To my girl,

You are eight and a half months old and I keep falling deeper in love with you and adoring you even more, if that's even possible. I beam with pride as your dad and I watch new facets of your personality seep through and you gain more independence. What a fun age this is! You are a little social butterfly. You let anyone hold you, stranger or friend. The other day we were in the store and this sweet old lady came up and was gushing over you. She put her hand on your cheek and smiled at you. Without missing a beat, you placed your chubby little hand on her weathered cheek and you both just stood there smiling at each other for what felt like minutes, not needing to say anything. I feel like that sums you up so well. My sweet little spirit, always showing people your joy.

You're in such an age of discovery... and the fact that you're crawling definitely helps as you discover more. You're favorite thing lately is getting your hands on anything in the cabinets and whatever you can pull off of shelves. I'm pretty much constantly chasing you around. But, oh, does it make me happy when you find a book and squeal with delight as you turn each page carefully looking at what's on it. It's one of the the few things that will make you stop what you're doing and sit still. That's pretty rare these days. Although I did walk downstairs yesterday morning, and you and your Grandma had been sitting outside for about a half an hour, just staring at the rain... perfectly content. That's my girl. Your daddy and I got engaged in the rain, we were married outside in the rain, and you were born on a rainy day. It's my absolute favorite, and I love that you love it too.

It's been quite an interesting month, as you are doing more on your own. I know it would seem like that would make my life easier, but it really has only made it harder. You got so excited with crawling and pulling yourself up onto everything, that you decided to stop nursing, eating food, and napping during the day, and let's just say you're giving your mama a run for my money. It's changed the whole dynamic of what life looks like. Sometimes I daydream about the days when you'd nap on me for hours, or even play contently by my feet all afternoon, and I think how different it is now. But then, I watch you squeal with delight as you watched the flamingoes at the zoo for the first time, or as you taste food off of the table that we're eating. And I remember that every season with you is beautiful and challenging in different ways. I'm soaking up every day. The good and the ugly.


Your dad and I went on a date the other night and daydreamed about this summer and all the fun things we're going to do as a family. We can't wait for more family hikes, roadtrips, beach days, and are dying to take you on your first camping trip! Your one year birthday is just around the corner, and I need you to do me a favor. Just stop growing up, ok?! I need you to be my baby forever.

I love you more than you'll know, sweet girl. Being your mama is the best thing I've ever done.
xo

Letter to Elsie

(by Chelsea Steller)

My sweet girl, you are five months old.

A part of me feels like it was just yesterday that we brought you home so excited to show you to the world, and another part of me feels like you've been a part of me all along. Being your Mama is one of the biggest joys I've ever had. Waking up to your darling rosebud lips and sleepy stretches melts my heart as I remember hearing cliches like "I just want to wake them up so I can play with them". Now I totally get it. Time with you is like honey and I can't get enough.

Some of my favorite things about watching you grow up this last month have been hearing you giggle across the house and watching you discover your toes. I love that you're big enough for me to wear you on my hip and for your Daddy to carry you on his shoulders. You LOVE anything crazy. Being bounced as high as we can go on the bouncy ball, flying on my feet, your dad swinging you around the  room... and you instantly burst out laughing. We can already see your adventurous spirit and we're so proud!

You also had your first road trip this month to meet your new baby cousin and you did amazing on the road. It was a big step for us to see how you would do, and it made us excited to start doing even longer ones. You absolutely love being "worn" in a sling or carrier and I soak up every minute of having you close. I love getting to see you explore the world and to be at eye level with you as you discover.

Your tenaciousness is already so apparent and yet your sweet spirit and "go-with-the-flow" personality make everyday with you so fun. I love being your mama, sweet girl. It stretches me like nothing I've ever known, but it's straight from God that He gives me what I need to love you and nurture you to the best of my ability. It's the best job I could dream of. And you're Daddy is doing such an incredible job too. I would watch him with other kids when we were dating and married and would daydream about seeing him with our kids. And seeing the way he loves and adores you is better than anything I could have imagined. Elsie Love, we are so glad you're ours and are loving watch you grow up!

Photos by Chelsea Steller
chelseasteller.com

Family

Photos by the amazing Chelsea Steller

chelseasteller.com

four months

This is a few days late, but I still wanted to document this special day. It's come and gone faster than I could imagine, but we've loved every single day of it. Our Elsie Love is four months old!

I find myself looking out the windows in our room, and prayers of thanksgiving roll off my tongue so much these days. I look at my daughter and my husband and my heart is full, content, and seriously grateful. I am so thankful to an amazing Father for giving us this incredible little four month old gift. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to be a mama. I feel like that's my calling. To my own children. To motherless children. And I hope, well into my old age, I can still be an open heart and an open home for children throughout the world.

I catch myself praising God that He's letting me start to live out that heart and calling with Elsie. It is one of the most beautifully stretching things, and so incredibly gratifying.

I can't believe how big she's getting when I see her ever growing little body sprawled across my lap or her crib. This has seriously been the most monumental month for her as she has developed and grown in incredible ways. We've had some huge hurdles crossed with nursing this month, and it is something I am so glad we fought so hard for. (I'll have to write about all that another day.)

Her personality keeps seeping through in the most darling ways. She's been laughing so much and is so incredibly active.

Some facts about Elsie these days ::
She's officially in love with her pediatrician. She weighs 14 1/2 pounds and is 25 inches long.
She can now put anything in her mouth and LOVES doing so. Sophie the giraffe has become her favorite toy.
She sneezes in threes.
She adores the bath. She usually cries every time we take her out, because, no matter how long we let her play in there, it just wasn't long enough.
She found her thumb and sucks it.
She also, for the first time in four months, decided she likes a paci. SO glad I din't give up trying! What a lifesaver.
She's been sleeping more and more in her own bed.
She can push herself up on her tummy and loves tummy time now, and has also started rolling over. It always catches me of guard when she's laying on her tummy next to me, and then I look down seconds later to her face up staring at me with a huge smile.
She will find a screen wherever she is. She has a way of cranking her neck to look at the computer, tv, or phone. Oh no!
And she learned how to speak Latin last week.

insomnia

It's almost one o'clock in the morning, and lately my body has been in the habit of waking me up in the middle of the night... for hours. I don't know if it's the iced coffee I had at Renaud's earlier today, or just a lot on my mind.

I've been secretly loving these moments, though, because I have the whole house to myself (MYSELF...such a strange feeling) while Jeremy and Elsie are ever so darling, tucked away in our bed.  I'm sitting here completely in awe that this is my life. I was looking at Elsie tonight while she slept and LOVE that I get to be her mama. Everyday I'm learning something new. Learning how to be the best mom I can be and offer my daughter everything. In addition to learning to be the best wife I can be, and offering Jeremy my whole heart.

We've been very deliberate lately about setting aside for just the two of us. Elsie sleeps in bed with us right now, which has been one of the funnest things ever (not to mention the ten hours of sleep her and I get a night!). But it also means that we don't just put her down in her crib and get the rest of the night to ourselves. But the last couple weeks, I've been nursing her to sleep in our bed, and sneaking downstairs, where Jeremy and I get dates in the living room together. It usually involves Tiramisu, snuggling on the couch, the Olympics, and long discussions. It's a simple life we lead these days, but I'm drinking in every minute of it.

I can't believe it's been over three months since our darling girl was born. I remember everyone saying cliches like "Soak it up, it goes so quickly", and I would smile and nod... but My Lands....it seriously is flashing before my eyes. I am loving being a family of three. But I told Jeremy the other day how I can't wait to give her siblings. (Don't worry, we're not planning on having another baby for a while!). I absolutely loved being pregnant and can't wait to be again, but we're actually praying about adopting our next little Babe. More on that later.

It's been so humbling learning the ups and downs of parenthood. And still being 'newlyweds', we're also learning so much about loving each other. But, I can honestly say, everyday I keep falling more and more in love with those two. They make this life so beautiful. I guess it's time for me to crawl back in bed with them. Wouldn't trade it for the world!

three months

Today our little Love is three months old. Sometimes I take the long way home just so I can drive by the hospital to remember back on the day she was born. That incredible day, three months ago, has changed our lives in ways we could never know.

We've definitely had our obstacles as we ride the ups and downs of parenting, but it is the most absolutely delightful thing to get to be her parents. I'm listening to her coo and laugh right now, remembering when she was still in the womb and I wondered what she would be like. Here she is. She's ours. And she's perfect. My heart fills to the brim when I look down at her in my arms while she's nursing, or when I spy on Jeremy and her in the other room, as they make each other laugh.

I laugh when strangers see I'm pushing a stroller or wearing a baby under that wrap, and they peak in anxious to see her face. The first response is usually "Oh.... those cheeks!" Yep, she loves her mamas milk and has cheeks for days. The best for kissing. She's growing everyday right before our eyes, and her darling little personality is so fun to see coming through.

Jeremy and I daydream about the adventures we'll get to take her on one day when she's older and all the fun things we'll get to do once she hits certain milestones. I can't wait for those days. But until then, we're loving adventures around our neighborhood for walks, getting to have her sleep in bed with us, watching her first laughs, and having her fit in our arms. We're madly in love with her, and can't imagine life without our Elsie Love.

Some things Elsie loves :: any green plants (she will spot them across the house through the windows and coo at them), being outside, being naked, her Mama's milk, mornings (she smiles and laughs almost instantly after waking up... it's my favorite time of day with her), discovering her hands, sucking on her fist, going to the beach, being tickled, being on her changing table (weird, I know....but the kid loves it) patterns, her Daddy's kisses, sleeping in bed with us, and anyone singer to her, on pitch or not.

We are so grateful to get to be her parents and are loving every minute with her.

Happy Three Months to my sweet girl! xo